Rejoice with those who rejoice…
A couple of summers past I found myself in a conversation where people were sharing stories of a particularly joyful time in their lives. As I listened, I found myself feeling less and less joyful. I couldn’t wait for the conversation to end so I could leave the room. When I could, I left feeling depressed and frustrated. Reflecting on it afterwards, I was struck by how much I was finding it difficult to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15).
It was during a Christian conference which I attended that same summer that God revealed what was really going on. We were studying the Ten Commandments and during the talk on Do not covet, I saw with clarity that the real problem was my covetous heart. I desired what my friends had. I struggled to rejoice with those who rejoiced because what they were rejoicing in, I longed to have. But more than that, I was desiring that thing more than God himself.
Cultivating Contentment by Melissa Kruger on the Gospel Coalition website revealed a solution to my heart problem. She asked a particularly probing question, “Do you choose to look at what you long for instead of enjoying what you’ve been blessed with?”
I realised that when I struggle most to rejoice with others, I have been spending too much time thinking about what is seemingly lacking in my life, instead of looking at how God has blessed me. I need to shift my gaze from what I long for, to gaze on the Lord and his gifts instead.
To overcome my covetousness I have to deepen my love for Jesus and spend more time with him. Melissa says, “Jesus will not love you anymore because you do your quiet time but you will know more of his love when you spend time in the Bible and prayer.”
A covetous heart can be changed by cultivating contentment, being thankful and strengthening our relationship with Jesus. If you are struggling to rejoice with those who rejoice, it might be worth asking yourself if you are longing for something other than Christ. If so, pray that God will help you turn your eyes to be firmly fixed on Jesus.
Puritan writer Richard Baxter urges us to do just that:
“O that Christians would learn to live with one eye on Christ crucified and the other on his coming in glory! If everlasting joys were more in your thoughts, spiritual joys would abound more in your hearts. No wonder you are comfortless when heaven is forgotten. When Christians let fall their heavenly expectations but heighten their earthly desires, they are preparing themselves for fear and trouble. Who has met with a distressed, complaining soul where either a low expectation of heavenly blessings, or too high a hope for joy on earth is not present? What keeps us under trouble is either we do not expect what God has promised, or we expect what he did not promise.”
