Christian single, I see you.
Yes. You. All of you.
In all your unique situations, contexts, complexities, opportunities, griefs and joys, I see you.
But in this post, I particularly want to make sure a certain subset of Christian singles know that I see them. Why?
Well, because while they are used to not being seen by many who are married, these days they are increasingly not being seen by many who are themselves single. While they are used to being somewhat invisible in churches which idealise marriage, now they are becoming invisible in many Christian conversations about singleness itself.
Let me be clear who I am talking to.
I’m talking to you Christians who are unmarried right now, but who remain open to, perhaps even eager for, the possibility of marriage in the future. I’m talking to you Christians whose singleness isn’t necessarily characterised by a commitment to a lifetime of singleness
I am one of you. And I want you to know what I see when I look at you.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who diminish your singleness as “seasonal”, I see you trying to faithfully navigate the complexity of Christian life regardless of what may (or may not) be in your future. I see you trusting God and his goodness to you in the midst of uncertainty.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “temporary”, I see you living out your singleness in light of an eternity in which none of us will be married to each other. I see you reminding others that it’s this world that is temporary.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “circumstantial”, I see you making good, godly, wise and difficult decisions about who you will and won’t pursue a relationship with, even as you long for exactly that. I see you wanting to honour Jesus in your choices.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “not vocational”, I see you sacrificing your energy, time, relationships and resources in response to your salvation in Christ. I see you understanding that the disciple’s entire life is their vocation.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “uncommitted”, I see you day by day honouring Christ through your commitment to sexual holiness in a world which laughs at you for it. I see you taking up your cross and following him.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “just waiting to get married”, I see you making very difficult and significant decisions about your future, while often bearing the weight of those decisions alone. I see you refusing to just passively wait.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “holding onto the prospect of marriage”, I see you faithfully and prayerfully clinging to Jesus in the midst of unfulfilled longings. I see your awareness that those things are good, but not ultimate.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “shallowly rooted”, I see you working hard at initiating, building and maintaining relationships in your church communities even as you sometimes feel invisible there too. I see you remaining committed to others, even when they aren’t always as committed to you.
Though you are increasingly invisible to those who see your singleness as “the exception to the rule”, I see your recognition that the Body of Christ is not only beautiful in its diversity, but uniquely characterised by it. I see you embracing your place as one of many different and equally valuable members.
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Brothers and sisters, you are not invisible.
I see you and I honour you.
By God’s grace and if he so pleases, I promise that I’m going to keep working hard so that others—be they married or be they unmarried—see and honour you too.
Reader: If you also see and honour these Christian men and women, would you consider sharing this post on your own social media channels? Don’t do it for me. Do it for them.
This article has been re-published with permission. It was initially published here by Dani Treweek on her blog where she seeks to resource Christian individuals & communities on biblical singleness, sexuality, theological retrieval, worldview formation & other related topics.
